What do you need?

What do I need?  Sometimes, I am not so sure.  Maybe sleep, maybe a glass of chilled chardonnay, maybe a good cry.Needs and wants are interesting concepts.  At the end of the day, one really only needs clean water, clean air, sustaining food, safe place to rest your weary head. 

One need that I think is highly undervalued really, is the need for touch.  I have been pondering this thought over the last week after I listened to Terry Gross interview Dr. Vincent DeVita, an oncologist and author of the book, The Death of Cancer.  To listen or read the transcript, see the link below:  http://www.npr.org/2015/10/28/452395967/oncologist-discusses-advancements-in-treatment-and-the-ongoing-war-on-cancer

In this discussion, Dr. DeVita discussed his own battles with cancer, but also bravely talked about his son Ted, who fought aplastic anemia until he died at age 17.  Aplastic anemia, is a disorder whereby all three of the major bone marrow stem cells are not produced in adequate amounts.  Without enough red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets,  a person will not be able to oxygenate appropriately, fight infection, or prevent clotting.  This condition can ensue following a toxic chemical exposure, a viral illness such as mono, or due to unknown reasons, which then we call idiopathic. 

For Ted, he was so severely compromised, he lived his remaining 8 years of life in a bubble like room at the National Cancer Institute.  I cannot even imagine what both parent and child endured.  The only touch that this young man would have had was that through plastic gloves. No touch. No hug from his mom.  No stroking the cat. No first kiss.  No physical touch for fear he would die of infection.

We take the sense of touch for granted.  How many times a day do we find ourselves touching someone.  Tousling a child's hair, squeezing your partner's hand, hugging your mom, even though she is not going to remember who you are. 

Without touch, babies would not be breastfed, or even created for that matter. People whose love language is of the more physical in nature would often feel neglected.  Research has shown that touch results in a release of oxytocin, a hormone instrumental in the feel good department as well as the let down reflex in breastfeeding.  (http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763408001127)

Think of all the people living in nursing homes, whether they are elderly, non-verbal, etc.  How much better would their lives be with appropriate touch?  Today, I am going to sit here and just be grateful.  Grateful that I have this sense as well as the people in my life to share it with.  In fact, I think I am going to go hug my kiddos right now.

Be Gentle

Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
                                                               Max Ehrman