Friday, December 30, 2011

Preparing for the New Year

It is hard to believe that 2011 is already coming to a close. The year has been brimming with action: house hunting, moving, pregnancy, etc. I am certainly trying to take my own quiet breath and not being very successful at it.

Ladybug, continues to grow and flourish. Although, I am not feeling as though I am able to fully relate. She can play and playe ,and I tire. How to remedy this, while still maintaining some semblance of myself is the challenge. Especially that we know that number 2 is due later this June.

Setting myself up to prepare for this New Year is slightly challenging, given that I am still living amidst some boxes. However, I keep holding onto the feeling that this home was a gift. In the end, Iam hopully believe this. ing to be able to f

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Faith or lack thereof...

Gratitude. that is how I try to begin and end every day. When we say our prayers, Ladybug and I reflect on what we are grateful for. Usually, she is grateful for Daddy, Mommy's Milk, Mommy, and then our friend K, who currently is in remission from a GI cancer. No one in our family had cancer last year. Although we certainly have experienced some loss. The miscarriage in November through us all for a little loop. While I am sad that we went through this and would have preferred to have brought a few family member home this June, I can say that I am glad that we have had this experience.

Ladybug knew we were pregnant before we told her. Upon asking, we had fibbed multiple times telling her that Mommy was eating too much, etc. However, after two weeks of this, it began to feel very dishonest. Our little one persistently inquired. It was too much. So, after a dating ultrasound at 9 weeks, we caved and told her the truth. She was so excited and had grand plans. When we miscarried, she was very sad. Our faith really helped in this situation, and I will most likely write more about this later, but she really seemed more at peace when we told her that her sister was in heaven with God. She asked when the 'new' sister would come and needless to say, we told her that we would have to talk to God about this.

Two days ago, she began asking God for a new sister whenever we prayed. She saves clothes for this new sister, who may or may not come. She saves toys for this little potential person. She seems to really embody a faith that God will provide her this little sibling and she does not worry at all. Which leads me to ask, how do we truly develop this faith and how does it seem to get lost along our spiritual path? There have been family financial/social issues ensuing over the last few months that makes me wonder whether it would be prudent to have another child. Which, when I pause, feel is ridiculous, yet when I look at the strain that all of this has on my spouse, I realize maybe not.

A wise person at work told me to just say yes' to God, even though we don't have a clue about hisplan. Everyday, I pray that my life is an example of yes, yet I cannot seem to get through the muck that is holding my life together.

" I rock"

Trying to create a rich, creative environment for our little bean sometimes proves difficult. Especially, when I have other things on the brain, such as trying to restructure my profesional profile. This, compounded with reading the same books over and over can sometimes tax the most patient of individuals. Today, when Ladybug asked me to read the Three Little Pigs for the millionth time, I suggested that we act it out instead. This turned out to be a real winner as she wanted to do it again and again.

She liked it so much, we acted out Mo Willems' book Watch Me Throw the Ball. In this story, Piggie wants to throw the ball, which is owned by Gerald the elephant. Gerald is more focused on technique and distance whereas the pig just wants to live in the moment and enjoy herself. In our version, Ladybug played the Pig, and I was Gerald. When Piggie throws the ball, which actually lands behind her, she cannot see where it has landed. As such, she concludes that she threw it very far and proceeds to engage in a celebratory dance letting out the whoop las, etc. Needless to say, Piggie is proud of herself and proceeds to pat herself on the back "Woo, Woo! Who rocks? The Pig rocks!" In our version, when Ladybug threw the ball behind her, she started yelling, " I rock" and then proceeded to grab her her rocking chair, park her buns there, and then rocked like there was no tomorrow. Talk about living in the moment, I certainly learn alot from this kid.