Faith or lack thereof...

Gratitude. that is how I try to begin and end every day. When we say our prayers, Ladybug and I reflect on what we are grateful for. Usually, she is grateful for Daddy, Mommy's Milk, Mommy, and then our friend K, who currently is in remission from a GI cancer. No one in our family had cancer last year. Although we certainly have experienced some loss. The miscarriage in November through us all for a little loop. While I am sad that we went through this and would have preferred to have brought a few family member home this June, I can say that I am glad that we have had this experience.

Ladybug knew we were pregnant before we told her. Upon asking, we had fibbed multiple times telling her that Mommy was eating too much, etc. However, after two weeks of this, it began to feel very dishonest. Our little one persistently inquired. It was too much. So, after a dating ultrasound at 9 weeks, we caved and told her the truth. She was so excited and had grand plans. When we miscarried, she was very sad. Our faith really helped in this situation, and I will most likely write more about this later, but she really seemed more at peace when we told her that her sister was in heaven with God. She asked when the 'new' sister would come and needless to say, we told her that we would have to talk to God about this.

Two days ago, she began asking God for a new sister whenever we prayed. She saves clothes for this new sister, who may or may not come. She saves toys for this little potential person. She seems to really embody a faith that God will provide her this little sibling and she does not worry at all. Which leads me to ask, how do we truly develop this faith and how does it seem to get lost along our spiritual path? There have been family financial/social issues ensuing over the last few months that makes me wonder whether it would be prudent to have another child. Which, when I pause, feel is ridiculous, yet when I look at the strain that all of this has on my spouse, I realize maybe not.

A wise person at work told me to just say yes' to God, even though we don't have a clue about hisplan. Everyday, I pray that my life is an example of yes, yet I cannot seem to get through the muck that is holding my life together.

" I rock"

Trying to create a rich, creative environment for our little bean sometimes proves difficult. Especially, when I have other things on the brain, such as trying to restructure my profesional profile. This, compounded with reading the same books over and over can sometimes tax the most patient of individuals. Today, when Ladybug asked me to read the Three Little Pigs for the millionth time, I suggested that we act it out instead. This turned out to be a real winner as she wanted to do it again and again.

She liked it so much, we acted out Mo Willems' book Watch Me Throw the Ball. In this story, Piggie wants to throw the ball, which is owned by Gerald the elephant. Gerald is more focused on technique and distance whereas the pig just wants to live in the moment and enjoy herself. In our version, Ladybug played the Pig, and I was Gerald. When Piggie throws the ball, which actually lands behind her, she cannot see where it has landed. As such, she concludes that she threw it very far and proceeds to engage in a celebratory dance letting out the whoop las, etc. Needless to say, Piggie is proud of herself and proceeds to pat herself on the back "Woo, Woo! Who rocks? The Pig rocks!" In our version, when Ladybug threw the ball behind her, she started yelling, " I rock" and then proceeded to grab her her rocking chair, park her buns there, and then rocked like there was no tomorrow. Talk about living in the moment, I certainly learn alot from this kid.

They say the darndest things..

Two has not been all that terrible. I admit, we have had our days, but we have also had some very sweet and funny times. Earlier today, Ladybug and I had finished our lunch at Panera Bread and were going to enjoy the sample scone in the car on the way home. Scone in hand, Ladybug seemed to really enjoy it. I asked for a bite, and was graciously given one. However, I realized that the scone was really, too sweet for an almost three year old to have before nap. So, I recommended that we take it home and 'save it' for later.

" Mom, it's too crumbly to save. We need to eat it all now." How to deal with this? Hmm. Luckily, I did not need to think too hard as Ladybug proceeded to offer me a sizeable morsel.

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I was given a time out this morning. More later, she is up.

Summer Musings - Part 1

This summer has gone so fast. We have finally sold the condo, moved into a rental, went on vacation with the entire family, came home, went to Mason Michigan for our annual visit with the T family, came home, returned to visit the Ohio group and are just now settling in. There has been absolutely no routine, and no wonder that Ladybug gets confused. I am confused at where we are going and what we are doing on a regular basis.

The house search has now begun and it truly is agonizing to sift through all the housing stuff, educational stuff and try to determine what community you are going to be a part of for the next 20 years. I know, I exaggerate, who knows what tomorrow may bring. However, we moved several times while I was a kid, and frankly, I am not a fan. It is hard being th enew kid on the block. My husband never moved, but his parents had him change schools frequently. I am not a fan of that either. Well, will have to ponder this more in the morning. I would rather snuggle up with a good book right now.

Mommy Milk

Never in a million years did I dream that I would still be nursing my child at 2 1/2 years. Never. The woman I babysat for in college nursed her three year old and I thought she was a little crazed. Amazing what a little age and experience do to you.

Anyhoo, we have had a number of very sweet and funny moments around the 'mommy milk' as Ladybug likes to call it. The other night, D and I were laying with out little ladybug in her bed. She was nursing, eyes closed, breathing rhythmic. D and I were holding hands. I felt so content and calm, when suddenly, LB opens her eyes and cried "All gone." We waited and she continued, "Oh no, now what are we going to do." It was such a crisis for her.


When Ladybug encounters a problem, we often will ask her how she thinks we should solve it. So imagine a scenario much like the above, a family of three, all reclining in bed in a pseudo-state of slumber when LB states yet again "All gone." So, my husband asked her "What are we going to do" as he was still cracking up from her last witticism. LB, in all seriousness turned to him and plainly stated "go to the store and get more."

Mommy milk - It does a body good. Especially Little Ladybug. When she needs comforting, she often asks for mommy milk to make her 'owwie' feel better. What is equally comforting to see is that she often shares her own mommy milk with her baby bear, treating her in such a kind and gentle fashion.