Weaning

Weaning.  A word that has been tossed around our house like a garden salad for over two years.  As a mom who has embraced extended breastfeeding, one might think that my musing over the term "weaning" may revolve around the fact that my husband and I are in negotiations on when to fully wean our three year old daughter.  I know, I know, she is not getting fully nutrition through my milk.   But oh, the closeness, comfort and connection really are priceless.

Yet, I digress.  When consulting Merriam Webster about the term "wean" you meet up with definitions that embody my previous discourse:

1: to accustom (as a young child or animal) to take food otherwise than by nursing

However, the thought behind this post does not surround my three year old, but rather, my parents, my sisters, and myself.  I will spare the sordid details, as they say, but the adults in my family of origin are also embarking on this new "weaning" adventure. And based on the last several weeks, I am not sure that we are all looking forward to this journey. 

The second definition of "wean" is as follows:  

2

:  to detach from a source of dependence wean

ed off the medication> <wean the bears from human food — Sports Illus.>; also :  to free from a usually unwholesome habit or interest <wean him off his excessive drinking> weaning them from habits of violence — Geoffrey Carnall>

 

At this point in our lives, my sisters and I are needing to wean our parents from their independence.  We are inviting them to receive our help, our counsel, in efforts to preserve any semblance of autonomy.  Our dad, who will be 80 in August, is a former marine and top salesman.  Gregarious, social, conservative in political and religious beliefs, he seems like an awkward teenage boy not sure of the right etiquette in his senior years.

 

Mom, a shy closet writer and political thinker, is no longer able to fully recognize her own children in photos.  The clicker is that they are living far away from any of their beloved, who so desperately wish to participate in their lives. 

 

My sisters and I have functioned like a 3 person relay race team.  One of us started us out strong and fast to provide a nice sized lead, the second provided consistency and stabilization, and the third, we are hoping is going to pull us up the rear and bring the gold home.  The gold in this case is gently encouraging our parents, to wean themselves from the lives they have lived for over 28 years and move closer to one of us.  While we see it as merely a change of location, I wonder if my parents see it more as a weaning of the self; a losing of who they are, who they were, and who they were meant to become.  

 

In the case of our mom, she has already begun to wean herself from herself and her life.  Weaning.  I guess its not just for babies.